Before she was even born, Bennie Jo Mettler was destined to make her own way. Her father, Benjamin F. Herndon, had carried the nickname “Benny.” Her uncle Joseph — the brother of her mother, Rose M. Herndon — went by “Joe.” When she arrived on March 6, 1942, her parents gave her both men’s names. For the 83 years that followed, she lived a life worthy of that off-beat origin story, moving through the world on her own terms.
That was true, too, in Bennie Jo’s final days, as she fought through illness to attend one last gospel sing-along and served her signature sass to the doting family members and caregivers that had gathered at her side, reminiscing over old photos, old memories and her favorite old movie, Dirty Dancing. She died peacefully on April 28, 2025, as Elvis Presley sang “Bridge Over Troubled Water.”
Elvis was a favorite of Bennie Jo and her late husband, Richard “Dick” Mettler. The two fell in love on the dance floor and married in the summer of 1963. Together, they built a life in Bluffton, where they raised three sons and helped raise five grandchildren.
She worked as a switchboard operator at the local hospital before later becoming a real estate agent. In 1991, the same year her three eldest grandchildren were born, she survived a brain aneurysm that should have been fatal, later expressing gratitude for the Bluffton community in a note published in the Bluffton News-Banner. “Thank you God,” she wrote at the time, “for letting me be here to see my beautiful grandchildren.”
Both lifelong members of the Elks, Dick was the life of the party and Bennie more reserved. But a wallflower she was not. Bennie suffered no fools and she was stubborn, but she always dressed in classy fashions, with her hair, nails and makeup done just right. She was unafraid of sequins, shimmer and bright pink.
The granddaughter of Sicilian immigrants, Bennie Jo was born in Cumberland, Kentucky, and attended grade school there until her family moved to Fort Wayne, where she graduated from Northside High School. She showed her love through food — and her best dishes live on through her family, whom she taught to make homemade egg noodles, cinnamon dinner rolls and her classic banana pudding dessert. She loved to work with her hands, cultivating beautiful flower gardens and cross-stitching intricate designs. At Christmas, she decorated themed trees and assembled an impressive winter village — traditions carried on by her granddaughters.
In their final decades together, Bennie Jo and Dick spent most of the year cheering on their grandchildren at sporting events and making trips to visit their youngest son in Texas. They summered on Lake Jimmerson and were always home by September to steward the Mettler’s Fish Stand at the Bluffton Free Street Fair.
After Dick passed, Bennie Jo moved to Heritage Pointe of Warren, where she earned a reputation — and adoration — for her ornery antics. At the end, it was clear to her family how much her care team loved her. And how much she loved them back. We are endlessly grateful to them all. We feel comforted knowing she will be missed.
Bennie Jo is survived by her brother, Jim (Charlotte) Herndon of Lake Arrowhead, Georgia; her three sons; Rick (Jeannine) Mettler of Bluffton; Mark (Joy) Mettler of Bluffton; Chris Mettler of Plano, Texas; grandchildren Katie, Connelly and Caroline Mettler; Zach Mettler and Erika (Denny) Squires; great-grandchildren Mason, Maximus, Maverick, Emersyn and Everleigh; and her niece Mindy Herndon of Marietta, Georgia.
Bennie was preceded in death by her parents, Benjamin and Rose Herndon; her husband, Richard “Dick” Mettler; her aunt, Mary (Bob) Fields; and her sister-in-law, Marge Herndon.
There will be a public calling from 3:30-5:30 p.m. Wednesday, April 30, at Goodwin-Cale & Harnish Memorial Chapel. The memorial service will begin at 5:30 p.m.
Memorials in her name will go to the Bluffton-Harrison Middle School’s Community Fund, which supports students in need.