Whenever I am feeling the mega pressures of the world and need a break, I go to my happy place. My husband would say Trader Joe’s. Though I show signs of great happiness as I travel the aisles where I find all sorts of foods that fit into my very limited diet, Traders Joe’s is not my happy place.
According to the Cambridge Dictionary, Happy Place is defined as” a memory, situation, or activity that makes you feel happy.” Wiktionary defines it as “a mental visualization of a pleasant location, to avoid thinking or dealing with something unpleasant or painful.” Psychology Today adds: Physical spaces and places affect how we think, feel, and behave. This sentiment is at the heart of environmental psychology. You can harness the benefits of thinking about your favorite physical space – your literal “happy place.”
This got me thinking. Are there rules or regulations when it comes to your happy place? Can you have more than one? Does it change as you get older? Are you trapped in that happy place if something happens down the road to impinge on that warm feeling? Can you share it with others? What is the protocol if you are confronted by someone who views your happy place as an eyesore? So many questions!
Like anything that is very personal, your happy place is just that, YOUR happy place. It cannot be chosen by anyone else, and it is one of the few things in this world that is TOTALLY yours and can be controlled by you. Others might try to influence your choice. Parents often introduce their children to their happy place to cultivate a bond that gives a common ground for the family to enjoy. But there’s always that child that does not see that place as a paradise but a torture chamber. For example, my parents enjoyed Sunday afternoon drives throughout the country. My dad would check the crops and my mother would pack a picnic lunch that we ate at a roadside park. We wouldn’t have a destination and after five to seven hours of wandering, we would find ourselves back in our driveway. No two Sunday drives were the same. I spent those hours lying in the back window of our ‘58 Chevy staring up at the clouds, waiting for the picnic lunch to sustain me so I would survive the next hours just driving around. This activity gave my parents many hours of enjoyment, me not so much.
Throughout the years, my happy place has changed but always seems to go back to a common theme. I feel it was deep seated in my youth and will forever be ingrained into my psyche. As a child I often sought solace in the forests that surrounded the farm where I lived. I would venture into the woods alone to seek all sorts of wondrous things, and my parents would find themselves searching the woods to make sure I would be home when the sun set in the west. I never felt threatened or afraid when I was surrounded by nature. The following sixty years have found me in many forests of various kinds but the same feeling of contentment and peace are always there.
As the birthdays add up, I find that going to my happy place is problematic. So, I revert to memories of prior visits and experiences. However, there is nothing like an actual walk in the woods to ease my mind. I have been transplanted from the rolling hills of northern Michigan to the flatlands of Indiana, but I have found my happy place in the neighborhood. As many of you know, I am involved in Ouabache State Park and can truly say it is my happy place. Its forests call to me often, and no matter the season, Ouabache provides the stimulus for regeneration and contemplation.
As I stated before, your happy place is very personal. You can find like-minded people, but the peace of mind and refuge it gives you is solely yours. There will also be people who think your happy place is stupid. I for one cannot see how a person can find the front row of a rock concert a happy place. My ears ache just thinking about it, but in turn they see the woods as a place full of bugs and a whole lot of green. I recognize their right to choose their happy place, and I reserve the right to keep my opinion that it is not my happy place to myself.
Here’s the thing: Having a happy place gives you peace of mind. The important thing is not where that happy place is, but that you identify and embrace a place that brings you peace of mind. There seems to be a whole lot of people who are not aware of their happy place and refuse to seek it out. They are consumed with fighting the battle of turmoil and conflict. Perhaps they could fight a better fight if they would pause and give their mind and soul a rest, even for a short time and then return to the battle. So my friends, go forth and find your happy place, whether it be the woods, a concert, or a busy city street. And if you pass a forest on your way there, look and you just might see me.
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Editor’s Note: This is one of a series of articles written by a group of retired and current teachers — LaNae Abnet, Ken Ballinger, Billy Kreigh, Kathy Schwartz, and Anna Spalding. Their intent is to spur discussions at the dinner table and elsewhere. You may also voice your thoughts and reactions via The News-Banner’s letters to editor.
