I can’t recall my first Barbie. I can my last.
I stopped playing with Barbie’s around 10 or 11. That’s when it became uncool; like Backstreet Boys and NSYNC. I was already tortured by my classmates and didn’t need to give them one more reason. I hated giving them up. Barbie was my friend when I didn’t have a lot. She helped me become a creative writer by helping me with story development and progression. Sometimes I still miss her.
My favorite Barbie growing up was Jewel Hair Mermaid Barbie from 1995. She had beautiful long blonde hair with star stickers that you could place in her hair or yours. They always got stuck in my curly hair and took a few strands with them every time. Her outfit was a gold lamé jeweled top and bottom. She was with me almost every bathtime.
When the Barbie movie was announced I excitedly texted my oldest sister, Sarah. She wants to see it just as much as I do. I have to wait to see it with her, because she decided to have a life and go to Scotland and England. Yes, I am seething with jealousy.
There’s been a lot of hoopla about the Barbie movie. A lot because people can’t see beyond the surface level, and appear to have a desire to be offended. There’s been a lot of trash-talk around women dressing up and going to see it. As if men don’t dress up as their favorite sports player and go scream in stadiums. And sometimes if their team wins or doesn’t win a cup or a ball or something they think is important, they riot. I haven’t seen any Barbies riot, but I digress. (I kind of think a “Protest Barbie” would be amazing.)
I plan to dress up. I plan to wear pink and glitter and embrace my inner child because I was forced to give her up too early. Also, I’m trying this new thing where I embrace things that bring me joy.
My last Barbie was given to me by my mother. I was 23.
In 1997, IMAX released a Nutcracker movie. There were also several ballets in production at the time. My class took a field trip to see the ballet live. I can’t remember where it was exactly, maybe Fort Wayne or I.W.U. I dressed up, because every movie I had seen where someone went to a ballet, they dressed up. I wore a black velvet dress that had an iridescent purple bottom, and a giant bow (I was the only one dressed up). I became obsessed with The Nutcracker and ballet.
That same year, Barbie created Barbie as the Sugar Plum Fairy in The Nutcracker. She was gorgeous and expensive. Mom was a single parent, Dad had died the year before, so we didn’t have a lot of money. My school at the time was holding a raffle for the doll. One doll for one very lucky little girl. Mom had enough money that I could get one raffle ticket. Life had not disillusioned me yet, so I had so much hope and I just knew I was going to win that doll. And I did.
Mom told me when I was older that she asked the school not to tell me until she could be there, because she wanted to see my face. They didn’t wait and she didn’t get to see my face when I laid eyes on that beautiful doll dressed in pink glitter tulle. Later Mom confessed how disappointed and hurt she was that they didn’t wait.
“I didn’t think you had any chance of winning,” she said. “So when they called and told me you’d won I was so happy I cried. Christmas was going to be tight that year so I wanted you to have it. I prayed and prayed.”
I didn’t listen to people who said not to play with it because it would be worth a lot of money someday. (You can buy it on Ebay for $25.) Sugar Plum Fairy Barbie got lost in the years. Who knows where she went. Back to Barbieland I hope.
In 2013, Mom got her hands on a load of Barbies still in the packaging. She came home and showed me and asked if I wanted any of them. I said no, my little cousins could have them and play with them, but it gave me a lot of nostalgia to look through these Barbies from the ’90s. Mom told me she had one left for me. I can only assume that my face looked like I was seven- years-old again. At least, I hope.
I hope my excitement at seeing Barbie again was just as joyous as it was when I was seven and I was the luckiest girl in the world.
Maybe I’ll take her to see the movie with me.
Contact Carrie at: newsroom@news-banner.com
