My wife and I rarely took vacations until recently.
Larisa and I placed our entire focus on our kids while we raised them. Summers were spent coaching both of our kids in youth league baseball. As baseball wound down, we found ourselves on the doorstep of football season. As they entered high school there was precious little time between football season, show choir and spring sports. Missing time for spring break carried playing-time penalties that our kids weren’t willing to accept.
There wasn’t much time left for travel.
Now that we’ve broken free from high school sports and the associated expenses, my wife and I have placed a huge emphasis on vacationing.
Empty nesting has its privileges.
The benefits of traveling have shown up in our marriage. Larisa and I look forward to spending time together and not worrying about the real world. A week away is long enough to actually look forward to getting home and the closeness we share on vacation always carries over to the real world, further strengthening our relationship.
We made it home early Sunday morning from our most recent vacation.
Then everything fell apart.
Our leisurely Sunday was intended to catch up on laundry, pick up a few groceries and get ready for the week ahead.
At 4:04 Sunday afternoon, Larisa’s sister messaged her. “Hope you had a good trip! Mom and I will be heading out in the morning and should be back in Indiana some time on Tuesday.”
Wait. What?
“I took two weeks off,” she added.
This being the first time we heard of the trip, Larisa asked where they were staying. “I thought we’d stay with you,” was the reply.
Who invites themselves for two weeks without notice? Apparently my sister-in-law.
A little context; both of my wife’s parents are deep into dementia. Her dad is much further along than her mom. He is under hospice care in a full-time facility. Larisa’s sister cares for their mother at her home in Jacksonville, Fla. My wife doesn’t have a great relationship with her mom and sister. There has been minimal contact with them in recent years. They both have a toxic effect on Larisa. As a result, she stopped reaching out to salvage her mental health.
We sat in stunned silence Sunday afternoon realizing our post-vacation honeymoon was suddenly over. Our stress meter went from zero to overflowing.
We looked at a house full of trip hazards realizing an Alzheimer patient who falls often would be at our doorstep in less than 48 hours. No food in our refrigerator. A spare bedroom that has sat untouched since my COVID isolation months ago. Half unpacked luggage was strewn everywhere.
And little time to fix it.
We’re glad Larisa’s family wants to come home. It will be stressful but good for everyone.
We only wish we had just a touch more notice before they invited themselves for two weeks.
Our first two days with them have gone better than anticipated, although we had fairly low expectations. Regardless, it’s always good to see family and our appreciation for my sister-in-law has risen immensely. Patiently answering the same questions over and over, day after day has to be excruciating. When her time comes, she deserves preferential treatment at the pearly gates.
One thing is certain for Larisa and me. We’re going to need another vacation soon to recover from this post- vacation trauma.
dougb@news-banner.com
