Here’s the situation: I am so far behind, I look like I am ahead. Ever been there? I do not know for sure how this happened once again, but I have “too many things on my plate,” “too many irons in the fire,” “too much crap in my life,” “bitten off more than I can chew.” Take your pick, any number of clichés will work well.
This is not the first time I have found myself in this particular state of trying hard not to drive myself nuts, well, more nuts. Every dang time I swear that I will never do this again; I will say, “Gee, I would really like to ________, but I will have to decline; but thank you for asking.” So much for my “good intentions.” I do have every intention of not putting myself in this position.
This whole predicament is decidedly unhealthy. I need not go into detail because I am fairly confident that I am not the Lone Ranger here; you have been exactly where I am and probably have vowed to never repeat the scenario. But what to do? I have heard that if you want something done, always ask a busy person. Well, that is ironic.
Here I go with very little identifiable segue. Irony has always fascinated me. I know, I really might need to consider getting a real life. Even when I was not in the classroom, the concept of irony appealed to the way I view life. Hang with me here; I want to make sure we are all together in our definition of irony. The definition of irony is when something is said, done, or happens that is opposite of what we expected. In the classroom we discussed, probably ad nauseam for some, the three main types of irony found in literature: verbal, situational, and dramatic. Let me be clear, I cannot even recall the last time someone in the general population of my life said, “Gee, Bill, the situational irony of that is astounding!” Nope, although we do not generally use the literary terms, we all recognize irony when we encounter it.
Verbal irony is a figure of speech that results when someone says something but means something entirely different. This is often confused with sarcasm, and while all sarcasm uses irony, all verbal irony is not sarcasm. (Confused yet?) Verbal irony can also employ understatement and overstatement to enhance or establish a character or scene. Sarcasm’s intention is to sting while making a point. For instance, if someone were to say, “Are you this ignorant on your own, or do you get help?” Point made, but blood drawn. Situational irony is rather broad in definition, but basically refers to when the outcome is different from what was expected, like a police station being robbed.
Dramatic irony occurs often in literature and theater when the reader or the audience knows something that the characters do not know. Take for example, in a TV show, a young woman thinks her boyfriend is acting strangely because he is getting ready to propose to her, while the audience knows the reason for his actions is because he is leaving town with another girl. Now consider just how often in our lives we think we know what is going on, but we sure as heck do not!
Well, anyway, enough of the definitions, examples, and mundane. The real issue for me is the acknowledgment of the ironies evident in all of our lives. Some of these are rather ordinary in nature, while others are extraordinary. I am going to concentrate on the extraordinary. We can ponder together the various ironies we have experienced between birth and the time when we “shuffle off this mortal coil.” This is where I wish we could all meet at say the Quabache State Park, and sit in a circle and discuss this very thing. But since that is highly unlikely, I will just carry on as if we were talking together in person….and if by chance you want to share some thoughts, I would be up for such an encounter.
One of the greatest ironies of life to me is that I did not fully appreciate life, my life, until I realized just what I would be willing to die for. Think about it. Figuring out what I valued enough to die for made me understand the value of my life. What would I actually die for? I have thought about this exact question quite often. A couple of the answers for me were predictable and pretty much no-brainers. But when I went beyond those few people or things, I found the answers not quite as simple, but no less educational for me.
Another instance of irony that gets me is that some people work their entire lives to garner the money, house, car, the accoutrements that they think will assure their happiness, only to discover at the end of life, that perhaps none of those things were worth what was sacrificed in accumulating them. Things such as spending time with their kids, spouse, family – taking a vacation, enjoying a walk in the woods, strolling on a beach, putting the phone down, or something as “insignificant” as watching a movie with your best friend and a bowl of popcorn. There is the irony, because none of those are insignificant at all. They can be the very things that give significance to our lives.
There was a commercial on TV that made this point and made me weep. There is a little girl sitting in a living room with her parents. Smiling, she watches them as they are on their phones. She thinks, “I wish they would look at me like that.” There again is the irony. At what point will those parents grasp that whatever the cell phone has to offer pales in comparison to the child sitting right beside them? Probably when she is no longer sitting beside them. Reminds me of the haunting song by Harry Chapin “Cat’s in the Cradle;” why do we not learn more quickly?
Here’s one that slams me every time I think about it. Fully appreciating another person only after that person is no longer here, why do I allow this to occur in my life? I have countless times when this very truth has hit me like a sledgehammer. No acceptable excuses for this one.
There are interesting ironies that confound the mind such as in America the most shoplifted book is the Bible. Or how about Bobby Leach who was the second person to survive going over Niagara Falls in a barrel (what was he thinking?) died 15 years later from a leg infection that he sustained when he slipped on an orange peel. Another one that gets me is that Q-tips are purchased to clean one’s ears. Yet, on every box of Q-tips is the warning: Do not insert into ear canal.
Here’s the thing: The ironies in life are as numerous as stars in the firmament. Something ironic is unexpected; we cannot prepare for irony exactly, but we can use each realization to learn something more about ourselves. Seriously, life is just one constant learning experience, isn’t it?
So exactly what have I learned since paragraph one? Well, here’s an irony. I discovered, again, that I created this chaos, not one other person, just me. Likewise, I am the only one who has any kind of control of this, so rather than bemoaning my plight, guess I just need to buck up and get on with it.
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Editor’s Note: This is one of a series of articles written by a group of retired and current teachers — Ken Ballinger, Billy Kreigh, Marianne Darr-Norman, and Anna Spalding. Their intent is to spur discussions at the dinner table and elsewhere. You may also voice your thoughts and reactions via The News-Banner’s letters to editor.
