March 2020 to March 2021. March 2021 to March 2022. We are coming up on two years of COVID-19 grieving. There has been so much sickness and so much loss and so much death. It is hard to put into words all that has happened to us as a community, as a state, as a nation, and as a world. The scope of things is so grand that it is even difficult to think about and to fully comprehend.
As we reflect on the past two years, some of us have lost friends, co-workers, neighbors, and family members to COVID-19 as well as other causes of death. And many of us have not had adequate time to fully grieve those losses. This just has not been a very fun two years.
In the book, “The Tao of Dying,” by Doug C. Smith, he writes, “The process of dying is nothing out of the ordinary. The moment of death is a single point on a circle. The point of death is indistinguishable from the point of birth. Living and dying are inseparable. Birth welcomes death. Death welcomes birth.” But somehow this ordinary process of dying feels a little different during a worldwide pandemic.
When someone dies, a precious life on earth comes to an end. A man, woman, or child who was loved by many, and one who loved in return. It is not immediate that we will accept this loss. Our mind requires a time of grieving. Many of us feel shock at the news of a death. We feel numb and a little disorganized. This is normal.
We will recall fond memories and reminisce for months. This is truly a testimony and a tribute to the life that has been lived. There are events, ceremonies, and rituals that are so meaningful. There are births, graduations, weddings, birthday celebrations, special anniversaries, and a lifetime of achievements to reflect upon.
Our grieving will not stop after the funeral. Many of us will feel a deep loss, and a deep sadness for a long time. This can be emotionally painful. And we really need to “be there” for one another. Talking about our loss is helpful. Sharing memories with each other is helpful. Being a stabilizing presence, being a friend is so necessary.
Try to remember that not everyone expresses grief in the same way. Not everyone expresses grief immediately. Death and loss are different. It sometimes takes time. Time can be both urgent and steady. Grief can come in waves. Grief can come later. Grief can come when we least expect it. Grief can be different for each one of us.
Grief is a normal and natural response to loss. It is an emotion that can start the process of healthy mourning. As we mourn, we need to release and express our emotions. At times we may feel helpless. At times we may feel emotional pain. At times we might even feel frustrated. All our emotions are part of the grieving process.
As March of 2022 marks two years of COVID-19 grieving, let’s continue to ask questions. Let’s continue to share our memories and our stories. Let’s continue to support and comfort one another. This is also from “The Tao of Dying”: “Your dying and my dying are the same in meaning. Yet all manifestations will always be different. Realize the common meaning. And respect the many manifestations.” Let’s all pause for a moment of silence to remember the many loved ones here and around the world who have died during these past two years.
