When the question came up, I pondered and reflected. A reader asked something that hit a soft spot in my core.
It was something like this: What does it take for a wife to minister to her husband in a way that he can thrive to become who God made for him to be?
It brings back a host of memories, many warm ones, mingled with those times that weren’t so easy.
Daniel would not want me to sit back and paint a picture incompatible with actuality, so I’ll leave out the whims or hints of having had perfection.
I have been amazed many times over how a man is made to believe he is how his wife treats him to be.
I don’t know how much sense that makes. Daniel once reminded me of a statement, “I feel like I could fly when Gloria and I are united, but when we’re not, it feels like my boots are filled with concrete.”
I’ll be quick to add that a relationship needs two to pull in the right direction. Like a team of horses, they can pull more than double the power if hitched with a mutual goal; when one starts kicking it may take extra benevolence from the other to help get back to plowing furrows, row after row.
Daniel believed in the statement, “Treat her like a rose; she’ll bloom.” Sometimes, the simple things made the more significant difference for me, such as when he assured me that everything would be okay even when things didn’t feel good.
And then, thinking about what we can do from the feminine standpoint, do not underestimate your influence on your husband if you are adoring him and showing him the respect you have in your heart.
Obviously, this won’t always feel as simple as on your wedding day. As we learn to give, not scrounge for what we can get, it is possible to have that honor even in the midst of times we don’t view things the same.
Years ago a friend shared this simple statement: Believe in your man for who God made him to be, not just for who he is now. There you go. He may never give you flowers or get the door for your birthday. Will that change who he is in your heart? How valuable is that relationship to you or your children?
While death isn’t something we like thinking about, I can’t help but share with you how precious it is when God has prevailed through those hard times. There is nothing about being perfect or understanding it all, but there is a deep preciousness that it was worth it all; the sacrifices then melt into a flow of understanding that nothing is in vain when done for Jesus (for those around you).
And yes, let’s not forget to pray. I have seen many hardships melt away when brought to the Lord, the Healer of all pain.
Whether you are married and building onto your husband’s life or are single and serving Jesus by serving others around you, know that it won’t be in vain. As we keep turning our eyes to the One who forgave and redeemed us, that grace flows through us to those demanding situations in life.
I think of hurting and shattered families across the board. If that is your story, do not lose hope for a moment. There is hope, just as cream needs to be beaten viciously to get butter, so we get tired and bent beyond description. There is always a right way to fix something wrong. If you happen to be in a situation where you have been wronged with what feels like beyond repair, don’t give up. Like that butter, there is usually an intense trial of some sort to pass through before we get where we want to go.
Now, wrapping up, I’ll share a recipe I used for Daniel when I really wanted to treat him to something good. He loved it when I’d set a little bowl of caramel icing on the side where he could slather on all he wanted.
GOOEY CARAMEL CINNAMON ROLLS
½ cup warm water
2 tablespoons yeast
2 tablespoons sugar
3 ½ ounces vanilla instant pudding
2 cups milk
½ cup butter, melted
2 eggs
1 teaspoon salt
6 cups bread flour
6 tablespoons butter, melted
1 cup brown sugar
1 tablespoon cinnamon
Instructions
Combine first three ingredients.
Mix pudding with milk and add to yeast mixture.
Stir in melted butter, beaten eggs and salt.
Add flour, mix well. Roll dough on floured surface.
Spread with 6 tablespoons melted butter, 1 cup brown sugar and 1 tablespoon cinnamon.
Roll up and slice 1 inch thick.
Place on a greased cake pan.
Let rise until double.
Bake at 350 for 20 minutes or until done. Cool. Frost with caramel icing.
