As I have grown older, I find how I feel about certain things are quite different from how I felt in various stages in my life. Years of experiences influence a person’s insight when determining the meaning of a word. The topics are as varied as the color of spring flowers.
Take the definition of old. When I was a teenager in the 60’s, thirty sounded so old, and we were told not to trust anyone over that age. At 30, sixty sounded old as parents and grandparents started to show snow colored hair and slower gaits. At 40, I had lost my parents, and it was my friends that were getting gray hair. I noticed the change in weather through my knees. It was then that old wasn’t determined by a number but how I felt. Now at 75, old is defined by luck. People of a certain age feel lucky that they are on the right side of the grass and are experiencing what old age has to offer.
Another term that takes on new meaning is happiness. When I was a child, happy was sunshine on my face and my grandma’s cookies. As a teenager, it was a smile from a certain boy and a date to the prom. As a college student, it was a party on Friday night and sleeping in until 2 p.m. In my thirties, it was a baby sleeping through the night and laundry being done. Today happiness is baking cookies for my granddaughter and waking to see the sun peering through my bedroom window.
But I think the word that has changed so greatly for me personally is the word success. When I was in college, I had a poster on my dorm wall that I read often. It was the words of Ralph Waldo Emerson. It stated…
“To laugh often and much; to win the respect of intelligent people and the affection of children; to earn the appreciation of honest critics and endure the betrayal of false friends; to appreciate the beauty; to find the best in others; to leave the world a bit better, whether by a healthy child, a garden patch Or a redeemed social condition; to know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived. This is to have succeeded!”
As a bright-eyed college student, I felt I had accomplished none of these and my goal was to work toward success. The one I homed in on was the redeemed social condition. I felt it spoke directly to me and the many challenges my generation faced: war, civil rights, and feminism. I needed to forge forward to make changes in those social conditions. It gave me purpose. The other words didn’t pertain to me. I planned not to have children or plant a garden and cared little about what others felt about me. My friends were going to be my friends forever and would never betray me. I felt I had forever before I would leave this earth. The next 50 years would prove me wrong.
Today I look totally different at that statement for I feel Emerson was speaking to a person’s lifetime and to simply live and survive is to be successful.
Each person travels through stages of his or her life. Some look to others for affirmation that they are successful. I beg to differ. I believe our success is determined by our own opinion of the impact we have others and the world around us. People need to make a checklist of Emerson’s guidelines to see if they are a success. I did.
1. To laugh often and much: Yep, every day… usually at myself.
2. To win the respect of intelligent people: Do people I respect ask me for advice? Check
3. To win the affection of children: All I need is to look into my grandchild’s eye. Or remember the many children I received heartfelt hugs from in the morning as they arrived for another day in my classroom.
4. To appreciate the beauty: I am humbled at the world around me as I witness the marvels of nature. I also focus on the beauty to be found within a person and not the outside.
5. Earn the appreciation of honest critics: This is a tough one but then I think of the countless editors that gave me advice, and I can check off this one.
6. Endure the betrayal of false friends: This is a painful one to check off but if you live long enough your friends will disappoint you, and you will survive.
7. Find the best in others: This is the backbone of every teacher I have known, the belief that every student is reachable and valuable.
To leave the world a bit better, whether by…
8. A healthy child: Three children. Yup. Define healthy….,
9. A garden patch: There was a time my house looked like a greenhouse so I can check this one off, but now, not so much. My green thumb faded, and my back became weak.
10. A redeemed social condition: I have fought my entire life to preserve and conserve our natural world. It is a continuous battle and one I shall rage until my last breath.
11. To know one life has breathed easier because you have lived: This should be the goal of every human being.
Here’s the thing: Emerson had it right. These eleven goals could easily be a roadmap to a very successful life. One through ten are achieved at various stages of your life, but number 11 seems to be the most important. I challenge you to take on number 11 every day you have left on this earth. Make it a point that you have used your resources, your intelligence, your spirit, or simply your smile to make another person’s day just a little bit better. Then you can go to bed every night knowing you are a success.
mamashwartz@hotmail.com
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Editor’s Note: This is one of a series of articles written by a group of retired and current teachers — LaNae Abnet, Ken Ballinger, Billy Kreigh, Kathy Schwartz, and Anna Spalding. Their intent is to spur discussions at the dinner table and elsewhere. You may also voice your thoughts and reactions via The News-Banner’s letters to editor.
