Have you ever felt like Mark Twain’s character in “A Connecticut Yankee in King Arthur’s Court”? Out of place, even out of your epoch?
A Hoosier Hick in the Big Apple. Same thing.
Many of you have likely experienced this, but this was the first adventure into the heart of the city for the Millers — a “Christmas in NYC” bus trip. So glad I wasn’t driving, more so in the city than to and from, but that wouldn’t have been any fun either.
We stayed just across the Hudson River in Secaucus, New Jersey, which looks an awful lot like Weehawken and East Rutherford and North Bergen. We drove by the Meadowlands Sports Complex several times coming and going, home of the Jets and the Giants. Also the scene of a lousy performance by my Packers Monday evening. But I digress.
It was just five miles from our hotel to Midtown Manhattan, which at about 8 a.m. on a weekday means one hour and 15 minutes. Except for Friday, which took us less than 20. Even our local New York guide could not pinpoint a reason for that.
Day One: Strawberry Fields Memorial and the building where John and Oko lived .. and the front entrance where he was gunned down. Central Park. Grant’s Tomb. Harold Square and Macy’s where the Thanksgiving Day Parade begins.
You have to have reservations to see Santa at Macy’s. There is still a long line. Long. But a friendly elf guides people in and answers Hoosier questions. He wishes us a Merry Christmas and when we return the greeting he reaches into his apron and gives us a “Macy’s Santaland, 2023” button. Best souvenir I brought home. Actually, the only one beside a couple ticket stubs. And it was free.
Times Square, an early dinner, time for a stop at Smith’s Bar. The Smith in our group insisted on buying. He was a popular guy. Pictures were in order. Then on to a performance of “Hamilton.” We’ve watched the video on Disney+ but in-person is a bit different. Just a bit.
Day Two. A morning behind-the-scenes tour of Radio City Music Hall where we got to meet a real Rockette. We learned there are actually two “teams” or “casts” of Rockettes, since they do four shows a day. But it’s not a year-round job. Hundreds audition for just a few openings each year. The Rockette we met has a degree from Boston College in four kinds of dancing. Pretty impressive.
Then time enough for several members of our group to ice skate at Rockefeller Center. We checked out NBC Studios just across the street and saw Al Roker taping something; then a tour of the Intrepid Museum which houses the Enterprise space shuttle before another early dinner so we could head back to Radio City Music Hall for the evening performance of the Rockettes Christmas Spectacular. Whew. Usually, when something is billed as “spectacular” it is not. If you’ve seen it, you know it is. Truly amazing. I honestly think I was smiling during the full 90 minutes or so.
Day Three: Lower Manhattan. A view of a very distant Statue of Liberty. Thought we’d get closer. The FiDi — Financial District — and the 9/11 Memorial and Museum. It is not possible to characterize this as a “fun day.” We’ve been to the USS Arizona Memorial at Pearl Harbor. A very similar experience.
Our Last Supper in New York was at a classic Italian eatery — Carmine’s — that fed us family style. Huge plates of Italian salad and appetizers. Huge plates of sausage-and-pasta and shrimp-and-pasta. We thought we were ready for dessert until they brought out huge plates of chicken-and-pasta and salmon-and-pasta. They offered to box up the leftovers but what would we have done with it? As we were leaving the restaurant, waiting outside was one of the relatively few homeless people we came across on the trip. There was a universal lament: What we’d just thrown away would have fed this poor guy for two months.
Every trip to New York City, I understand, is required by law to include the Empire State Building. Judging by how things are laid out, nighttime is the best time to avoid the crowds. We got to the top and enjoyed the spectacular views — again, living up to its billing — in pretty good time.
But we didn’t see Cary Grant or Deborah Kerr or Tom Hanks or Meg Ryan. There was a cardboard cut-out of the Elf (Will Ferrell) but we passed on a pose with that.
New York is supposed to be crowded. What’s a word that triples that? Quadruples? Is it possible to have gridlock on a sidewalk? Yes.
New York is expected to be expensive. It’s not if you don’t spend money.
New Yorkers are supposed to be rude. There was one fellow, an usher at the Empire State Building, who we think was just trying to fill that stereotype. Otherwise, you’d have thunk they are all Hoosiers. Enough to make us feel at home? They tried, but I am happy as a Hoosier Hick.
miller@news-banner.com
