Ok, I had an idea that led to an actual plan for this week’s article. Yep, I most surely did, but as with many if not the majority of my plans, it just didn’t materialize in the manner I had intended, but then we are old enough to know exactly where our best laid plans and intentions end up. Not sure how that works, but I have realized in seven and one half decades that often it is the detour, rather than the planned trip, that has provided me with many adventures that I would never have encountered if I had stuck to the “map.”
With that not-so-profound realization, I invite you to join me in a couple of “detours.” Maybe we can recall specific instances when in the process of being “lost” we have actually stumbled, slid, or collided with something we never intended or imagined. Probably that is the basis for that old saying that it is the journey, not the destination that is paramount. It is human nature for us to want a plan, a format, a design, a pattern, a known conclusion. Humans plan the day, the month, the season, daily menus, vacations….heck, we try to plan our lives… and how does that seem to be working for most of us? Cannot speak for the masses, but as for me, the detours thus far in my life have made all the difference.
I got married at age 18 during my first semester of college… detour for certain. Nope, my “map” was that I might consider marriage and kids at about, around or in the proximity of age 30, not a moment before. Well, among the results of that particular detour, I gained 2 beautiful daughters and a most amazing grandson. That detour while not always on a perfectly paved and smooth road, was one of the very best I could ever have “not planned”!
Becoming a teacher also was not on my radar or part of my plan… detour. Nope, I was going to be a lawyer specializing in women and children or a journalist who covered the remotest parts of the world. Neither happened. Instead, I became a teacher – English and journalism – and in that detour I discovered a passion for learning of which I previously had been completely unaware. Who knew? Other than faculty meetings and department meetings – well, meetings in general – I enjoyed about 99.6% of every day in the classroom. Spending various amounts of time with kids who are just discovering their world, their thoughts, and their lives could be one of the very most exciting, challenging, rewarding, and fascinating endeavors of all time… and I would have missed it all had I not taken that detour.
Those two particular detours were huge in my life; there have been many that were less monumental for me, but informative nonetheless. A couple of days ago, I shelved my plan for the evening and during a perusal of the four bazillion tv channels that are available… actually I was looking for Shawshank Redemption to watch for the seventeenth time, I muddled onto the funeral service for Mrs. Rosalynn Carter. Ok, funerals are not something I generally deal with unless it is out of necessity. I had every intention of just flipping right on by… detour. Yep, I stopped for a second and then could not turn away from that service for its entirety. I always rather admired the Carters, although I believed when he was president and I believe it still, that he was just too good of a human to deal with the trauma and drama of politics in Washington DC.
The memorial service for Rosalynn Carter was filled with such inspiration… inspiration which she engendered in practically every single person with whom she came into direct or indirect contact. Her interests were varied – from the paths of migrating monarch butterflies to foraging to the forefront of destigmatizing mental health issues to the plight of women and children around the world to sitting in congressional meetings so she could more capably discuss legislation and issues with her husband. She was his most trusted advisers throughout her life. She was a most unusually down to earth First Lady.
Virtually every single person who shared a memory about her spoke to her compassion, passion, strength, faith, how she was not to be deterred from doing what she thought was right, her concern for others, her belief that the worth of a person or a country can be measured by how each treats those who are the most vulnerable among us. How are we doing in that measurement, do you think? Detour.
There were four former and our current First Lady in attendance, right there on the front row. I could not help but wonder what each one of them was thinking as the life of Mrs. Carter was eulogized. I wonder if they gave any thought as to what exactly would be or could be said about each of them….what will be the emphasis when their lives are reviewed?
Ok, so what will the emphasis be when each of our lives is reviewed? Now there is a question that carries more than the weight of each word. Detour. While it may not be the very most pleasant topic of consideration, it just might be one of the most enlightening for us to consider what will be said or thought about us when we are gone. Probably of even more significance would be for us to concentrate for a moment on how we want to be remembered or spoken about after we leave planet Earth. Heck, I am not advocating that we write our own obituaries, but what will your family, friends, acquaintances, say about you? Thinking about it for myself certainly gives me pause.
Here’s the thing: Plans are said to be what man makes while the gods laugh. We value the plan and somehow always think that things will progress according to said plan. We think we know the course of our lives; we think we know where the road, the path, the trail will take us… or maybe we just hope. Planning is not a bad thing, not at all, but it can be a futile endeavor because life sometimes has an altogether different plan. Quirky wordsmith Yogi Berra famously said, “When you come to a fork in the road, take it.” Initially that sounds like a simplistic statement. But is it? We do not have to always choose the “road less traveled.” Maybe we can learn to remain open to the possible, to not fear the unknown, to venture forth and relish the potential that just might present itself in the detour. Well, it is something to ponder as we hurtle toward 2024 and the rest of our story..
bkreigh@adamswells.com
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Editor’s Note: This is one of a series of articles written by a group of retired and current teachers — LaNae Abnet, Ken Ballinger, Billy Kreigh, Kathy Schwartz, Anna Spalding. Their intent is to spur discussions at the dinner table and elsewhere. You may also voice your thoughts and reactions via The News-Banner’s letters to editor.
