My son struggles with mental illness.
A simple statement not so simply arrived at. My journey of understatement has been long and complicated. It involves not only myself, but also everyone that knows me and is a part of my life.
When my child was young, I dreamed of what his life would be and all the accomplishments he would obtain. He was shy and at times anxious but that is normal with any child. It was, however, a precursor of what was to come.
The first diagnosis came when he was 20, and 20 years have passed. How my life has changed is as relative as the changes in his life. I can only speak to my reality for it is that reality that I have lived through on my journey.
When the first diagnosis of panic attack and anxiety disorder came, I was not alarmed. Surely there would be a quick fix. I didn’t realize medical science has taken its own sweet time investigating the diseases of the mind. After all, I have a fixer personality and I just knew with medication and lifestyle changes my son would be good as new.
That first visit to the doctor turned into countless appointments and multiple medications to try, but to no avail. I struggled with the reality that this was not a quick fix and it would take time. But most of all, I did not have the knowledge or the tools to help my child.
I conjured up ways that a solution could be found, and I could save my child from the bouts of depression and the narrowing of his “safe place.” I watched as my fun-loving son became a prisoner of his mind and his world existed within the walls of his bedroom. These days were dark and I would have sold my soul to change the reality. We did not speak of his battle to anyone and waited for it to go away. It did not.
As time passed, my son sought out therapy and again we were hopeful that a “cure” was to be found. After juggling the reality of multiple therapist and as many approaches to that therapy we realized again there wasn’t a quick fix. Finally a therapist was found that connected with my son. The path to understanding was forged. Note I said understanding, and not a fix.
May is Mental Health Awareness month. Everyone needs to educate themselves with the realities of mental Illness. It is a disease of the mind. There are as many varieties of mental illness as there are birds in the sky and each bird has a variety of colors.
Awareness is not only for those that are dealing with the disease but those that are affected by it, which is everyone — if not by a family member dealing with the realities of a chronic disease, but by the simple social impact mental illness has made on our society.
When I was a teenager, my town had a large mental institution. It housed over a thousand residents that had been afflicted by the disease. In those days the mentally ill were locked away and sheltered away from normal society. Then in the 70’s, a revolution spread throughout the nation, and those institutions were shut down. Residents were released out into the world without a plan for care. Many became homeless and lost but still ignored by society. Ignoring the problem didn’t make it go away. I remember seeing released patients wander the streets as if they were looking for an answer without knowing the question.
Today we are moving towards understanding but still there is a stigma associated with diseases of the mind. Through ignorance comes discrimination and isolation. That is why it is so important to become aware of what mental illness is and demand more research into the mysteries of the mind.
Here’s the thing: Note the first sentence of this piece. I said my son struggles with mental illness, not that he is mentally ill. Semantics? No! I refuse to let a disease define who my son is. He is a loving and kind person. He is a talented artist. He has a servant’s heart. He cares deeply about his friends. And on good days, he thinks about the future. And yes, he has a disease that like any other chronic disease needs to be managed and watched carefully.
As his mother, I can’t fix him. I can’t make it go away. I can’t wish for another reality. I can only educated myself as to what is happening and what he is dealing with.
I can also advocate for more money to be spent on mental illness research and make others aware of the importance of educating themselves and their children. Mental Health Awareness is not just one month out of a year but a daily journey that we all need to travel.
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Editor’s Note: This is one of a series of articles written by a group of retired and current teachers — LaNae Abnet, Ken Ballinger, Billy Kreigh, Kathy Schwartz, Anna Spalding. Their intent is to spur discussions at the dinner table and elsewhere. You may also voice your thoughts and reactions via The News-Banner’s letters to editor.
