My nephew thinks I’m a vampire.
For those of you following along, Whitley, at five, is my youngest nephew. At the end of November, my brother-in-law Dustin sent me a text that read, “I just confirmed to your nephew that you are a vampire who sleeps during the day.” He’s not entirely wrong.
I sleep during the day, most days. Working second shift gives me the opportunity to follow a night shift schedule or day shift. I’m a bit of a night owl, so staying up until one or two a.m. really isn’t difficult for me. Sometimes with insomnia and overthinking, it’s easier to stay awake and let sleep come when it comes. It doesn’t always work in my favor, but for the most part, it’s a pretty good schedule.
Whit has picked up on my sleeping habits and my working habits. He does not approve of either. The last time I went for dinner, he barricaded the door so I couldn’t leave, and then set up a series of traps if I tried to open the door. One of those traps involved a tennis racket that would fall onto my feet. He was very proud of himself. He rarely sees me during the day, especially now that it’s winter. So the question came, “Is aunt Coolie a vampire?” “She definitely is.” When Sarah invited me over for dinner, he told her, “She can eat real-people food.”
I will admit, I was a little worried that he would be afraid of me after finding out that I am in fact a creature of the night (This is the child who’s afraid of butterflies). I quickly found it was the opposite; he has never been more in love with me. Except when he was a baby and called me “Momma” for nearly three years. We got into a lot of arguments about it. And yes, I am aware that an adult arguing with a toddler is nonsensical, but we all do it. I will admit I miss that little tiny voice calling me Coolie Momma, or Momma.
Whit has hit the age where he does not want to snuggle or hug anyone but his parents. Sarah calls Whit a sour patch kid. You know, first they’re sour, then they’re sweet. That’s Whit. Like most kids, he can be so mean and then turn around and be the sweetest thing. If I’m lucky, he’ll give me a quick half-second hug before he rushes off to do five-year-old things. His body is his body, so I don’t make him hug me.
A few nights after confirmation of my vampireness, I was at their house for dinner. Whit came down from his bedroom where he was supposed to be sleeping and crawled into Sarah’s lap. She and I kept talking and then she asked him if he wanted to sit in my lap and discuss vampire things with me. He did. And for the first time in I don’t know how long, I got to hold my youngest nephew while he was curled up in his blanket.
He wanted to know if all vampires worked at newspapers. Which, we don’t, but some of us do. We talked about what vampires do at night while everyone else was sleeping. I told him sometimes I come and check on him, and I hang out in cemeteries with my other vampire friends. I didn’t want to tell him that I work because I’m a boring individual with adult responsibilities. Yes, I would rather be running around a haunted castle in a cool dress, but that’s not possible.
Eventually, Whit will realize that I am not a super cool vampire aunt. I’ll be boring human aunt Coolie who sleeps during the day because she’s awake at night. Aunt Coolie who does not in fact eat bats (he apparently has photo evidence of me doing this. I wasn’t aware I moonlighted as Ozzy Ozborn.) In the meantime, I’m going to enjoy the extra affection Whit gives me because he thinks I’m a vampire who works at a newspaper.
Contact Carrie at: newsroom@news-banner.com
