Saying goodbye has never been an easy task for me, and I would bet that most people would say the same. Those goodbyes are even more difficult when the reason you’re saying them is because someone you loved has passed away.
My grandmother Delenia Peeper passed away at Christian Care early Friday morning surrounded by my Grandpa Jim and our family. She was 86. To say that we’re going to miss her is an understatement, as she meant more to us — more to me — than I could ever summarize in the space that I have today.
We have cried, we have laughed and we have retold stories these past couple of days as we think back on the time we spent together.
While my heart aches that she is no longer with us, I have tried to remind myself over and over again these past few days of a lesson — or perhaps an observation is a better word — that a friend shared with me.
This friend grew up in Burkina Faso, a landlocked country located in northwest Africa north of Ghana. He didn’t move to the United States until 2003, and I didn’t meet him until 2012 when he started to substitute teach at the school in which I work. Two years later, he would join our staff as a full-time French teacher.
He became a dear friend and a trusted colleague as we got to know each other. He passed away in 2021 much sooner than any of us would have thought, but his legacy is still very much alive in all of us who knew him as you’ll see in today’s column.
Our culture and the culture in which he grew up were very different from each other. I always enjoyed hearing stories about his childhood and early adulthood from when he was still living in Africa, as well as some of the culture shock that he experienced when he arrived to Indiana.
One aspect of our culture that he could never fully understand had to do with how we often acted when an older family member who had lived a long and happy life passed away. While he understood that it was a sad time, he struggled to comprehend why we didn’t spend more time celebrating the person’s life instead of being so somber.
“We should be celebrating him or her,” he would say.
And he was — and is — right.
My heart aches that my grandma is no longer with us, yet my friend from Africa’s message about celebrating her life is so important to keep in mind for all of us who have lost a loved one.
And there is so much to celebrate about Grandma Peeper’s life.
I’m so fortunate to have had her in my life for 42 years. My grandparents moved to Florida before I was born. From the time I was in elementary school until high school, however, I spent all of my summers with them in Florida. Classes would end in late May, and I would be off to the Sunshine State to spend a couple of months with them every year. That time and those memories are amongst the best from my childhood and always will be. I was lucky to have all of that time with them as a kid and as I went through my 20s and 30s.
Grandma Peeper was also quite lucky, as she won almost any game she played — everything from the Mouse Game at the Street Fair to the slot machines at the casino.
One of our last trips to the casino was in July 2019 when she won about $1,000 in less than 30 minutes playing the slot machines. Her smile that night is one that I’ll always remember and has been a blessing these past few days.
The true gift from God, however, was Grandma Peeper’s presence in my life and the honor my cousins and I had of calling her grandma, that my dad and his siblings had of calling her mom, and that my Grandpa Jim had of calling her his wife for 65 years.
Grandma knew better than most the importance of always being kind, giving thanks, working hard, serving others, smiling and loving everyone. She sacrificed a lot during her life to help others, and I hope that those of us impacted by her legacy will be able touch as many lives by paying forward all she taught us.
We certainly mourn Grandma Peeper today and feel a big void in our hearts. Celebrating her life as we think back on all of the great memories we have of her and with her, however, is what she would want.
We know that she is rejoicing for eternity in Heaven, a fact that warms my heart and makes me want to celebrate like my dear friend from Africa said we should do any time we lose a loved one.
jdpeeper2@hotmail.com
