Greetings and salutations on this fine beginning of November 2023. There are 60 days or 1440 hours or 86,400 minutes or 5,184,000 seconds left before we waltz right into 2024. Who knew? The passage of time has always been a bit ambiguous and enigmatic for me. I mean, yes, I can tell the time, I realize that time “passes” generally much too quickly, I also acknowledge that time is a concept devised by humans, and yes, it is said that time is finite into the past, infinite into the future. (astronomy.stackexchange.com). Ok, that phrase right there puts my mind into an immediate tailspin. Bottom line is my time is limited. Understood and accepted.
But it is not only time that baffles and mystifies me. Sometimes I think the whole world is talking in a language that I do not know. I love language, that has been established, but some of the words and terms used today just do not compute in my cerebral matter. I find this particularly true when speaking about money. Just to be clear, I will provide a few specific examples.
First there is Venmo. What the heck? I do not know what that is. Ok, I read the definition that “Venmo” is derived from the Latin “vendere” for “to sell” and “mo” is short for “mobile.” Well then, mobile money; I get that, sort of. When someone says, “Oh, just pay me by Venmo” my response is “I will write you a check.” This response is usually greeted by a smirk, a chuckle, or an out lout eye roll. I write checks, there I have said it, and I refuse to hang my head in shame.
Yes, when my utility bill arrives by post, I tear off that little statement, write a check, place both in an envelope, seal it, drive to that little box thing across from the fire station, glide my payment right inside, and proceed on my merry and often oblivious way. I do not pay bills online because, well, it does not seem “real” to me. What if there is a computer glitch or a mistake made?
Let’s go to PayPal. Nope, I do not do it. Why? Because it is an intermediary between my bank and me and I prefer to forego the intermediary thing and just write a check. I would think that businesses would not prefer it either because of the inevitable transaction fee. It is not even a requirement of PayPal to have a bank account. So how does that even work?
Cryptocurrency. Now there is a mind blower for sure. When I hear “crypt” my mind races immediately to Vincent Price slipping out of some dark and dank crypt ready to wreck havoc on the world of the living. Perhaps that is a bit over dramatic, but what can be good about an alternative form of payment that is created by “encryption algorithms”? Seriously, where is cryptocurrency held? And what the heck is a “virtual accounting system’? Would an “alternative payment” be similar to an “alternative fact”? I do not trust those either. Just saying.
How about this one….bitcoin? Ok, let’s imagine we are walking through a parking lot, any parking lot will suffice for this. People, myself included, generally will stop mid stride and bend over to retrieve a quarter that has been abandoned on the pavement. Probably most of us would follow the same procedure for a dime or even a nickel. But I have witnessed people spot and then step right over a penny. Why? Because it is a bit-coin, not worth more than, well, one cent. My grandson informs me that one bitcoin sells for over $34,000 in the current market. What? I shriek! If a person buys one, how does he know he has it? How would he know if he lost it, because it doesn’t really exist! Definitely qualifies as a Kreigh quandry.
I just do not know how comfortable I can get with something called “decentralized digital currency,” just sounds like Monopoly money to me. But then, remember I am a check writer which to some people means I meet the requirements as a citizen completely out of whack, scrambled, only remotely in touch with reality. I can live with that.
Here’s the thing: There is much I do not get, I get that. But there is a security, albeit maybe a false one, that I hold in my head that some things just should not be changed. Cash and checks are my SOP (that would be standard operating procedure). I like going to the bank and handing the money to be deposited to a real live person. Likewise, if I am withdrawing money, I want to walk out of the bank with real money clutched in my hand. That’s just how I roll.
There are some areas of life where I make an attempt to stay apprised of what changes are happening, and even go so far as to participate in those changes. I seem unable to call to mind any examples at the moment, but I am almost positive that I have accepted some kind of change at some point, only makes sense, I suppose. But that does not hold true for all areas of my life, and that you can take to the bank. And if it should come to pass that I owe you money, well, “The check is in the mail.”
bkreigh@adamswells.com
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Editor’s Note: This is one of a series of articles written by a group of retired and current teachers — LaNae Abnet, Ken Ballinger, Billy Kreigh, Kathy Schwartz, Anna Spalding. Their intent is to spur discussions at the dinner table and elsewhere. You may also voice your thoughts and reactions via The News-Banner’s letters to editor.
