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July 3, 2009

Yes, Virginia, there are smiley-face fireworks

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I finally saw a sky rocket explode into a smiley face with my own eyes.

And hallucinogenic drugs were not required.

I heard such a thing existed, but never actually experienced one until I visited the Salamonie River Festival fireworks display in Warren.

Unfortunately I had a migraine and was on duty so I only caught a fleeting glimpse.

My wife saw one first, several years ago when she was visiting her sister at the lakes. I was incredulous when she told me.

“How much had you been drinking?” I asked.

Despite her assurances she was clean and sober at the time, I was loathe to believe her. She is my wife after all. It goes against nature for her to tell me the truth, or at least not embellish.

“Did you spend a lot at Wal-Mart, honey,” I ask.

“Of course not,” she lies.

“Did you flush the toilet while I was in the shower, dear?”

“Of course not, Jerry.” She lies.

“Is there poison in my coffee?” I ask.

“Have another cup, dear. It’s decaf.”

That’s the usually conversation at my house. So when she tells me she saw a skyrocket explode into a huge smiley face at the one fireworks display I miss in a decade, I am suspicious.

Even when I saw a documentary on how they make smiley face skyrockets I still found it hard to believe she actually saw one in use.

What were the odds, I said, that some small Midwestern community would shell out the big bucks for a specially designed rocket? I reasoned.

Apparently, the odds are pretty good.

Last night, halfway through the Salamonie River Festival fireworks display a rocket exploded, and there before my eyes was a smile.

A crooked, green smile that was oddly turned away from us at a strange angle, and looking suspiciously as if it had some teeth busted out in a fist fight ­— but clearly a smile.

I looked down at my wife and said, “You were right. I finally saw a smiley face sky rocket.”

She just looked up at me lovingly and said, “Would you like another cup of coffee, dear?”

by JERRY BATTISTE

jerryb@news-banner.com


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